Forgive them for they know not what they do...

We voted and had our piece. What happens now has to be answered for in 2 years. I find it fucking amazing that everyone has forgotten all about G.W. Bush and the hell hole HE ran our country into. His poor daddy was slighted by Saddam Hussein and he had to rectify the situation by invading a country that Did Not fly planes into our buildings, or pentagon. Oh wait, he needed more oil and gas to make his family richer. Remember the bail-out we got when GWB was in office, it was called an incentive and everyone was delighted with that. Let's not forget the dumb ass former vice-president who should never ever go hunting again.
Poor Barack Obama who had to come along and pick-up after GWB and now gets the blame for the country being in the shape it is. It takes money to make money, and everybody is hungry for the green.
Andrew Jackson was a shyster president too! Every president will have his weakness and his strength.
At the end of the day its really about how much bullshit they can make us believe all the while playing a damn shell game in Washington.
They say you shouldn't talk about politics or religion in mixed company because you never know who you will offend. Ignorance is offensive to me, and it is not an excuse. You can't pay bills with marbles.

Super Tuesday

I will start with good morning to all the VOTING people out there. You notice I didn't say Republican or Democrat? That is because the side you pick is between you and the booth your in to vote. I say good morning to the rest of the world who choose not to vote too. Your opinion(s) do not carry much weight if you do not put your two cents worth in by voting. Enough said about that.
I am anticipating seeing the plastic surgeon again next week for "Assessment". I have already assessed myself and I say I am ready to get these hard plastic shells out of my chest and bring on the soft, squeezable permanent ones! I have had a multitude of people say to me "You look good, can't tell you even had breast cancer". I say thanks and walk on, I can tell I had breast cancer. Every damn time I get dressed the reminder is still there. I am better with it in my head now, no more depression. I just wished I was better with it in my soul. That is going to take time to fix. I am still the luckiest woman on earth. I have some awesome girlfriends and some fantastic family members and my co-workers well, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for them either. Thank you, you know who you are.

Lost and found-Hah!

Have you ever misplaced something and tried with all your might to find it. You get some jackass who says, "Don't worry, it will be in the last place you look". Well, I looked in all the last places and it's not there! That means that it is truly lost. I appreciate everyone helping me look but, it was fruitless. Folks who make things with their hands will understand what I'm going through. I started a quilt top on 10/30/2000 and for whatever reason I set it aside and worked on something else. Now in the past 10 years I have shown it to several people whose opinions mean something to me. I know I have touched it in the last 10 months or so. It is of no value to anyone but me so I know it was not stolen. I got to thinking, maybe I'm supposed to start another and not complete that one. So, I did.
Good thing about all this, I have a clean, organized closet. I threw out old, unused clothing and shoes from the freaking 80's! Yes, I admit I still had parachute pants (What was I thinking?) and Keapa shoes-Yuk. Anyway, I wish I had friends who could sew. We could do our own American Quilt movie. I will not give up my quest, I know it is somewhere to be found.

Cowboys vs. Texans

We are having a practice Thanksgiving Dinner today. We have a turkey with dressing, fresh green beans. We are watching the Cowboys and so far so good. I was sitting down enjoying my first beer of the day and me being me just happened to notice something in the game. Those of you who taped or Tivo'd the game can go back and check this is a fact. Player #21, Jenkins I believe well, he apparently does not, I repeat does not wear a cup. I know this because the referee called a penalty- too many balls on the field! You could see the whole situation and by the way, he dresses to the left. I don't normally search for such a sight but, I couldn't help myself it was like BAM! in your face. I noticed Roy Williams doing something great too! He caught the ball and made a touchdown- way to go Roy. Please do not think by me conversing about the Dallas Cowboys that I have "flip-flopped" away from my Washington Redskins or Kansas City Chiefs. Amazing things happen every day.

Slow & Easy Weekend

This weekend started off fantastic and it has stayed that way- so far. Friday my daughter and I went to the Studio Movie Grill and saw the movie "You Again". People, I am no Siskle & Ebert but, that movie was hilarious. If you survived high school and was not the "quarterback" or the "cheerleader" you will relate to this movie. Oh yeah, Tony Romo was there too. I don't know that he was seeing the same movie as us, we saw as we were walking out. Thanks to Brittney for taking me out. First time I've been anywhere other to work and home since the first week of July. Joshua, ,my son is learning to drive (watch out!), just kidding he pays attention. He may not listen but, he looks like he is. Today, we are having a practice Thanksgiving Dinner, yes you heard me right.
I love the fall, not the winter. This is such a beautiful time on earth right now. This is where we get snuggle moments with our significant others. I'm snuggling with my new "lady lumps" and baby they require a lot of room!

Ends justify the means..

I saw the oncologist yesterday and she gave me good words. I don't have to look at her again for 5 months- yes I am cancer free! Now we will get used to dancing with each other twice a year for the next 10 years. I know I can fight anything and I do mean anything so, bring it on! I've said it before and I will say it again, I am grateful for my experience and thankful for my lessons. Now, all I have to do is keep seeing the "I'm going to pump you up" doctor a*k*a plastic surgeon. I totally believe it's important to have your own floatation devices-lol. I have never been able to swim so I need extra air in my tubes, oops I mean boobs! My race is almost over and I cannot wait until I can show everyone my trophy!

Tough as Nails

You ever have one of those days where you just don't give a shit? I seem to be in that mood. I believe hearing the word cancer changes the way we as humans view our own mortality. You have these "Billy Bob Bad asses" that nothing can tear down. Then you have these folks that fold at the sneeze of others. What the hell? I for one have never been able to back down from a challenge and I have never ran from a fight in my life. Mom always said, you can run but you cannot hide. I can dig that, only because I knew what my mom was trying to relay to me. I cannot run fast but, dammit I can run far. I bet my moccasins are really worn out with everyone walking in my place. Cancer has really messed with my mind so I guess from now on I will be running for my life. Re-evaluation is awesome, I encourage everyone to step back and re-evaluate your place in life. I am not guaranteed tomorrow so, therefore I make the best of today.

Pump Up The Volumn

Today is day 2 of my re-creation, my rebuilding of my ground zero. My new two towers are being built to my specifications and I love it. Sometimes I wish I could do show in tell. Mostly, it's just tell...me telling every woman I meet "When is the last time you had a mammogram?". The doctors said I would be a big cheerleader after all this. I wonder if they said that because of the size of my pompoms. All I know is when I wake up in the morning it feels like I am wearing a extreme beginner bra or about 2000 small rubber bands around my chest. Anything I experience would not be half as bad as the alternative. Spending time every 6 months always wondering, nope that is not me. I can't be the "Cool breeze" that I am if all I do is worry.

Welcome Back

Well, I tried. That's all I can say about going back to work. I tried. I actually accomplished something. (Maybe I am convincing myself). I realized doctors prescribe pain killers for a reason but, I get loopy as all get out on them. Tylenol just doesn't work well, it may work on tearing up the lining of your stomach. The folks I work for and with are awesome. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of people. Thank you to the cats at USTP for being so supportive of my inactive time. I owe each and everyone of you so, call on your markers anytime. On a lighter note, my daughter is back from N.Carolina and I am glad they didn't have talking funny like a east coast person. My son needs to get his drivers license...soon!

What a world...

Omg, I slept late. Felt like I was cheating on somebody. Whoever said silence was golden sure knew what they were talking about. The day was a lazy day or at least that's how I felt. Maybe it was because I slept late? First time in 14 or 15 years I miss the biggest Powwow in DFW. Man, having cancer and surgery sure messes with the senses. Which way is up and how do you get out of here? Sure miss my mom.

Friendship and Family

Well, just when I thought I knew everything I found out, I don't know anything. How many people have said that? Who knows. I know when someone throws up Red flags, that is the first sign of something about to go bad. I have great friends and a wonderful family. I believe them to be as true as the arrow flies. To those who do not have the luck I have, be patient because I will share with you. I see things in a different light, like Purple.

My Daughter Is Leaving!

Brittney is going to South Carolina today for a couple days of relaxation and her best friend Falycia. My daughter was my rock and has proven her ability to stand tough in the face of cancer. That child, that child of mine. My mother would be so proud of Britt. My son, bless his heart never cried, never missed a beat. He was right there supporting his sister while she supported their mother. I want the world to know that I have the best off spring in the whole wide world. Yep, I am so, so grateful for my two babies. Thank you very much Brittney and Josh, I love you guys immensely.

Twin Tower Reconstruction

I woke up this morning feeling like I was wearing the tightest damn bra ever made for a woman. I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday and he gave me a bit of good news. Since I don't have to have radiation or chemotherapy it will not take as long (6 to 8 months) like he initially thought. It will be more like 3 to 4 months. Yahoo! Also, instead of small amounts into the tissue expander he will can use a larger amount and that is so cool with me. I am ready to put this behind me and I cannot wait to see what 2011 has in store for me.

First Plastic Doctor Visit 9.8.10

My son accompanied me to see the plastic surgeon in charge of reconstructing my two towers (lol) if you will. Dr. David Morales is an awesome individual. That man is so compassionate and courteous. He explained prior to surgery what his method is and what would be happening all along the way. Day of surgery he came to see me and drawed some hieroglyphics on my back and wanted to know if I had any questions for him. My smart-ass could only think of one question. Can you sew? I mean, I probably should have asked this before today-duh. I asked the stupid question and he gave me a very good answer, yes dear I can sew.

Missing Nurse 9.4.10

My brother came today to take his wife away from me. That's okay, I am so damn thankful he would share Teresa with me. I think Bob knew that Teresa was the best person for the job of taking care of his sister. I will never be able to thank him enough. My sister-in-law is awesome, she never wavered once. Well, I take that back. When Teresa removed the first of four drains she kind of freaked out on the length of the drain. Other than that, the girl was on her game. No pain was done to me and she showed the utmost care and compassion. I wouldn't take a million dollars for her, no, there is no amount to be paid for a special person like her. I love you Teresa Jo Childress Fondren.

First Doctor Visit

My sister-in-law, who has been my nurse, and saviour through all of this was again gracious enough to drive me to see the oncologist. Dr. Dao checked me out and said everything looks great and the pathology results on my lymph nodes came back negative- YAY! I am cancer free, the cancer was contained in the breast and since they removed the suckers we are cancer free. Best damn free thing I have ever received. Dr. Tuoc Dao is my angel, she came into my life and with due diligence and her beautiful smile saved my life. There goes the season/reason thing. She had a reason, to extend my time on earth a little longer. I wish I could give her a gift like she has given me. Thank you Dr. Tuoc Dao and Baylor Hospital Dallas, you guys rock!

Family Visits

My brothers (who are the best brothers in the world) came to visit me. I can actually focus now, they visited in the hospital but, under a cloud of morphine I couldn't tell who was there. My bros are happy I went through with the mastectomy. Yep, they want to stick around longer too! My uncle and grandma came and I really liked their visit (#$$%&*@^). My sisters came to see me as well. Have the best siblings in the world I swear. I received phone calls from my mom's sisters and brothers and they voiced their concerns. I am truly loved by my family and for that I am the most grateful person you will ever know.

After Mastectomy Blues 8.28.10

I got my first look at my ground zero. Oh my fucking god! I had little tits before so I kind of knew what flat chested looked like. I actually have a little bump, the "tissue expander" aka "skin stretcher" is in place. I was thinking I would have divots like in golf. No, I had tiny tits- again! Hey, I am not bitching. I would rather have tiny tits with NO cancer than bazookas with cancer. Now, the hard part. Letting someone bathe me. Crap, I have a lot of hair!

After Mastectomy Blues 8.25.10

Woke-up in the hospital, (better than the backseat of a friend's car). Talk about pain, no for real talk about pain because I wasn't having any. The nurse put the little pain pump in my hand and said, " don't let your friends or family get your pump". Shit, don't kid yourself, nobody gets my pain pump! I can't look, my ground zero was hidden under the gown I was wearing and under the sheets of which I was covered. Man o man, I have to look sometime right?

Morning of Operation 8.24.10

We (meaning my boobs and I) didnt sleep alnight long. I turned over more than a hooker on Friday night in Las Vegas. Jitters have turned into full-blown nerves. I haven't had anything to eat or drink and I am so hungry and thirsty. My children are with me, my friends and other family members are with me. I am about to have my breast cut off by a very nice, obviously very skilled (I can only hope I am not her first patient). I met the plastic surgeon already and I liked him immediately. He seems to be confident in his abilities. I like that. So, here we go.

Pre-Operation Jitters

Two days before surgery. 52 days since the "good and bad news" call. Just hearing the words, breast cancer was enough to knock me off of my feet. Maybe a part of me started to die right then. When given the choice of hearing bad news first or good news first, what do you say? Me, I am real straight-up so let's hear the bad news first of course. You have breast cancer, good news, it's early and you will hardly suffer.
Blah, blah, blah, I don't remember what was said after that. I just felt like Mike Tyson kicked me I the crotch and all of the air in my body had left via my mouth. WOW...